Hey, it's actually getting there.

The amount of propane stank that's coming off this thing is beginning to diminish. It's still visible when you're running water through it (little splashes of rainbow will appear in the runoff) but it's noticeably less stinky. I think it'll be ready by the time it cools off.

So that's the basic timeline; start construction in mid-September or so. Here's the plan I've developed so far:

• Complete the design. We've got some pretty solid graph paper designs. They don't have to be hyper-accurate, but they do need a bit more work.
  
• Get the trailer kit. We're going to do a tandem axle kit, and I think I've seen those with the light kit and all accessories for under $400.
  
• Obtain a bunch of angle iron and rebar.
  
• Build the base trailer.
  
• Figure out how to get the tank out of my backyard. Like dumbasses, we dragged these tanks down the hill behind my house, where cars routinely get stuck. They're heavy, like four hundred pounds. It took four of us pushing the big tank across cardboard downhill. So I think the way we're going to do it is:
  
  
  
  • Drain the tank.
    
  • Cut the doors and ports out of the tank to lighten it as much as possible
    
  • Sandblast the tank right there
    
  • Drag it to the far side of the house where the driveway is and then, using a car, drag it halfway up my driveway (my driveway is two paved tire tracks with grass/dirt in between)
    
  
  
• Buy a dozen of the longest 4x4s I can find and build a scaffold.
  
• Raise up the big tank and weld it in place on the base trailer.
  
• Raise up the small tank and weld it in place on the base trailer.
  

And that's about as far ahead as I've thought right now. That's far from done, of course. There are tons of details to work through, and I'll just drop a few of the basic features:

• The locomotive cab will have an angle iron frame with a thin sheet metal cover. The upper part (ie. above the midpoint of the smoke box) will have a canvas top or perhaps be fully canvas. The idea is to make it removable for travel, for lower air resistance.
  
• The firebox will have a portal for smoke into the smokebox, a removable lid with a rebar grate for grilling, and partitions to create a water boiler tank containing around 10 gallons. You'll be able to put your fire under any or all of the three. With the hot water tank, there'll be a tap at the bottom for hot water (warning! contents under pressure!) and one at the top for steam.

  Ideas for the steam:
  

  
  
  • Steam whistle! (it's for the kids!)
    
  • Steam fittings in the smoke box to add moisture to your cooking (i'm thinking for the bottoms of briskets)
    
  • Standard steam tap for whatever you might need (like espresso ;) )
    
  • Pressure relief valve to make that classic steam locomotive "pshhhhhhhhhh" sound
    
  
  
• The smoke box is going to have four doors, two on each side. Inside those doors, from one side to the other, will be angle iron holding up sliding racks. The racks will have some sort of detent to give them a 'home' position, but they need to be able to come out of the unit entirely.
  
• Along each side of the smoke box we'll put a piece of angle iron, and then about a foot outside, some rebar rails. Their height will give the sliding racks a place to sit. The angle-to-rail distaince will be sized to a full steamtable pan, the short way, so it'll also accomodate half pans.
  
• We'll get some cutting boards that fit in that arrangement. I think one of the ones I currently own would work.
  
• Under the smoke box will be lockable storage for wood, and lockable, weather-protected storage for charcoal and tools.
  
• At the moment I'm planning five thermometers: Two in each door on the left side, and one in the firebox. Also there will be a steam temperature gauge, and a steam pressure gauge. I might go electronic with all this, not sure yet.
  
• We'll make a little cow-catcher out of rebar.
  
• We need to build a bellows stack at the front end of the smoker, and use that as our primary exhaust. We'll plug the central outlet, and mount the steam whistle on that.
  
• We're going to paint it with that stuff that reacts and turns rust black. It also happens to keep new rust from forming. Then we're going to paint a flame job on it, and "FIRE DOGS BARBECUE TEAM" in old-timey letters.
  

The vision is beginning to solidify...